Fun with Friends 002: Finding Trust
in the last Fun with Friends post I chatted about my time with Kristine, my awesome lady friend who wood works with a miter saw in her spare time. This time I had some fun with my cousin on an impromptu pontoon trip and can’t wait to share what I learned with you.
When I think about this week’s theme of trust, I had to dig a little deeper than normal. Sometimes these themes can really stick out and shout at me and they can be easy to identify in my daily life. Other times, not so much.
Not so much.
Trust has several connotations, and as I was searching hard for it this week I kept coming up empty handed. What I’m noticing about these weekly themes is something that often occurs with me.
If I bring attention to it, I force it.
Have you ever had that happen? Where let’s say creating an intention to be more mindful of something almost becomes an overbearing presence? Just something to check off the list? Or that there may be some forced pressure?
Needless to say I don’t always do well with expectations. Sometimes I even sabotage my self interest in the process!
I knew this week’s theme was trust. And I kept searching for it. It felt a bit cliché to focus on trust between TJ and I. Or between a friend and I. It felt a bit inauthentic to focus on trust in a philosophy since I can often see the value between several ideologies at once. It also felt a bit too airy to have a general confident expectation of hope. And it also felt a bit vain to talk about trust in corporations or brands in our overall social climate right now.
So what’s a girl to do when she can’t find trust?
Trust often seems to be defined by those four cornerstones of confiding in people, ideas, the future, and things. But isn’t there something more?
The meaning I kept gravitating towards was almost a secure confidence in my own abilities. Rather than focusing on trusting another person, or a thing, or an abstract concept, I slowly realized that I needed to trust myself.
Lately I’ve been experiencing some restlessness. Anyone else ever get that? As in “I want to do ALL the things RIGHT NOW.” ??
I want to do all the crafts. Travel. Bike. Eat all the healthy. Move. Advocate. Host. Watch all the TV. Go to a theme park. Kayak. You name it. All the things.
But I was feeling stuck.
So for a few days I was in a bit of a mopey mood. I wanted to experience something new and didn’t know how to do it on a budget or how I could accomplish it all.
And then this glimmer of relief came up super last minute.
My cousin texted me on a Friday night asking about my plans for the next day because she had rented a pontoon and invited me along. Now usually when this happens, my automatic response is “thanks but I can’t.”
My go to response for so long has been a “thanks but no thanks” that it actually became habituated. And here I was just hours earlier moping around because I hadn’t “done” anything on my summer break.
All that was required of me for this day of fun and sun was a two hour drive to see my cousin.
So rather than backing out, saying I didn’t have enough money, getting self conscious about not being “bikini ready”, or blaming it on wanting to rest like I would normally say on a Saturday, I did it. I jumped right in.
Sometimes I think I have a calling to be near water. Do you?
I didn’t grow up on a lake, or body of water, and I don’t live on the water now. But I did grow up camping across Wisconsin and each time we went I begged my parents to rent us a paddle boat or canoe or something that could get us on the water. So when my cousin called and teased me with this carrot of being on the water for a full day, I couldn’t say no.
And I have to say this was the most fun I’ve had in a long time.
We started the day by pushing off the dock and making it out into the bay. We took a good fast drive (as fast as pontoons go at least) around the perimeter of the lake before finding a sandbar on which to anchor down. It was the perfect place!
People were laughing and playing frisbee, catch or with squirt guns. Dogs were playing fetch and everyone had a drink in their hand and smiles on their faces. We found a group of friends to hang out with for the day and shared stories and rafts and ice from our coolers. We got side cramps from laughing and sunburn from too-little sunscreen, but we were all kind and happy and communal on this little sandbar.
TRUST YOURSELF ENOUGH TO PUSH YOURSELF
What I loved most about this day was how confident I felt in myself.
I pushed myself out of my comfort zone by packing up my car and swimsuit and booked it out of town in less than an hour. After that I felt like I could do anything. I didn’t care about how I looked in my swimsuit, because I already took the leap and pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I didn’t care about impressing anyone or being funny because I was with my cousin, basically the sister I never had, who knew and accepted all my strengths and flaws. I was soaking up the sun and water, loving every minute of it, and felt incredibly alive.
Normally I don’t say yes to last minute things.
Spontaneity is not my strong suit. Jumping in the car and just going is hard for me. Any “adventure” I go on is typically well planned out, and a few weeks in advance at that.
But what I realized is that when life answers a deep, gutteral calling of yours, sometimes you have to trust yourself enough to know it is the right answer and jump right in.
I’m so grateful for time with friends and family. I hope this post sparks joy for you, just as finding trust did for me.
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